Whether you’re marrying in Fiji or coming home to New Zealand from Sydney, a wedding far from some of your people means someone will miss it. A grandmother who can’t manage the flight. A best friend with a new baby or a tight budget.

It can take some of the shine off the planning. But there are lovely ways to bring them into the day, even from a distance.

It helps to ask the people who can’t come what would mean the most to them. Some will want to watch every moment live, while others would rather see the photos and hear the stories over dinner later.

Livestream the ceremony

A livestream lets people watch you say your vows in real time, from a lounge in Dunedin or a kitchen in London. Ask your venue about wifi or mobile coverage early, especially somewhere rural or remote.

Hand the job to a calm, tech-confident friend rather than doing it yourself. Ask them to test it at the rehearsal, send the link out ahead of time and keep a phone charger close.

A phone on a small tripod is often enough, but sound matters more than picture. A small microphone near your celebrant means people at home can hear your vows clearly.

Time zones matter for people overseas. During the New Zealand summer, London is up to 13 hours behind, so a morning ceremony here can be the middle of the night there. Let them know the local time, or share a recording afterwards.

A livestream is for watching, though. Govt.nz says a marriage can’t take place by video call, and the couple, celebrant and witnesses must be physically present in the same place. Choose your two witnesses from the people who’ll be in the room.

Check with your celebrant and your photographer before the day, too. They’ll want to know where the camera is, so nobody ends up blocking the view.

Bring them into the day in other ways

People can be part of the ceremony without being there. A grandparent could record a reading or a blessing, or a friend who can’t come could write a few words for your celebrant to read.

Something of theirs can travel with you, too. A piece of jewellery, a handkerchief or a fabric from a family dress tucked into your bouquet keeps them close.

At the reception, a short video message during the speeches can be a moving moment. Ask the people who can’t come if they’d like to record one, then let your MC know.

You could also set a small table with their photos and a note to say they’re there in spirit. Guests who know them will love seeing them included.

After the ceremony, a quick video call from the venue can mean the world. Five minutes to wave, show off the dress and raise a glass is often all it takes.

Celebrate again at home

A second celebration can be as simple or as big as you like. It might be a backyard barbecue, an afternoon tea with grandparents or a party in the city where you live.

You could wear your wedding outfit again, show the photos or play the ceremony video. It gives the people who missed out their own chance to celebrate with you.

Some couples keep a little of the wedding for the second party. The same cake flavour, a few of the same songs or the leftover favours help it feel connected to the day.

For a grandparent who couldn’t travel, a private visit might mean even more than a party. Bring the photos, tell them the stories and let them hold the album.

Love travels well. The people who couldn’t come will still feel part of it, and you’ll have two celebrations to remember.