How to Write Your Wedding Vows
Author: Jamie Quinn
- By Jamie Quinn
Writing your wedding vows is a tremendously overwhelming task. How could you possibly put all your love and admiration into a few short minutes? Wedding vows are an incredibly intimate part of your ceremony; it’s a chance to revisit some of your special memories, share your favourite things about your partner, and look to the future.
If you’ve chosen to write your own vows, it can be difficult to get started. Traditional vows are very structured and formal. However, there are no hard and fast rules when you’re writing personalised vows. Whether you want to bare your heart at the altar or have your loved one cry laughing, here are some great tips to help you get started.
Start Early
The easiest mistake you can make is thinking you have all the time in the world to start your vows. You don’t have to write the whole thing in one go but start the process early to give yourself plenty of time to write them and practice.
Take Notes
In your notes app on your phone, start jotting down all the things you love about your partner as they happen. It can be hard to stay present during moments during the day, and this helps us to recognise all the little things we find endearing that we might otherwise overlook. This is also a great way to reconnect with each other, giving you an opportunity to acknowledge all they do for you.
Get Inspired
Take inspiration from your favourite movies, songs, and books. If you’re struggling to put your feelings into words, chances are someone else already has. There are no rules that say you can’t use poetry, song lyrics, or quotes to express how you feel.
Format
Break your vows down into sections and focus on one at a time. A simple format to follow looks like this:
Open: This is how you start your vows and can be a sweet anecdote or simply how excited you are to be standing there with your loved one.
You’re the best: Is all about why your partner is the best. You can talk about the qualities you love about them or the things that make them a great person.
We’re the best: This is all about you and your partner and what makes your relationship so strong. You can talk about why you’re choosing this life with them and brag about your relationship!
Vows: This is where you will make your actual vows or promises to your partner, e.g., “I promise to love you in good times and in bad.”
Close: To finish, you’ll put a nice bow on top of everything you’ve said. This could be a simple “I love you”, revisit the story you opened with, or look to your future plans together.
Embrace Sentimentality
If there is any a time for you to be cheesy, it’s in your wedding vows. This is your chance to absolutely gush about your partner and your relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to share your deepest secrets at the altar but aim for heartfelt.
Say “I love you”
This seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised by how many people forget to mention these three little words.
Don’t Worry Too Much About Grammar
Yes, you need to have complete sentences that flow well, but remember that you are the only one who will be reading your vows out loud. If you need to add extra full stops and commas to help you slow down and take a breath, then absolutely do. Your vows should sound like you; you’re not being graded!
Practice Reading Out Loud
Now that you’ve got it in writing, it’s time to read it out loud. You might feel silly practising in the mirror, but it’s important to hear how they flow and get an idea of timing. Ideally, you want your vows to be under five minutes long when read aloud. I don’t know about you, but I talk incredibly fast when I get nervous, so take this into account.
Write Them on Paper
Physically write or type your vows on paper. Standing at the altar reading off your phone is not a good look. Consider reading from vow books your celebrant can hold onto until it’s your turn to speak. Vow books also make great keepsakes you can cherish together for a lifetime.
Photographer: Life Like Film
Writing your wedding vows is a tremendously overwhelming task. How could you possibly put all your love and admiration into a few short minutes? Wedding vows are an incredibly intimate part of your ceremony; it’s a chance to revisit some of your special memories, share your favourite things about your partner, and look to the future.
If you’ve chosen to write your own vows, it can be difficult to get started. Traditional vows are very structured and formal. However, there are no hard and fast rules when you’re writing personalised vows. Whether you want to bare your heart at the altar or have your loved one cry laughing, here are some great tips to help you get started.
Start Early
The easiest mistake you can make is thinking you have all the time in the world to start your vows. You don’t have to write the whole thing in one go but start the process early to give yourself plenty of time to write them and practice.
Take Notes
In your notes app on your phone, start jotting down all the things you love about your partner as they happen. It can be hard to stay present during moments during the day, and this helps us to recognise all the little things we find endearing that we might otherwise overlook. This is also a great way to reconnect with each other, giving you an opportunity to acknowledge all they do for you.
Get Inspired
Take inspiration from your favourite movies, songs, and books. If you’re struggling to put your feelings into words, chances are someone else already has. There are no rules that say you can’t use poetry, song lyrics, or quotes to express how you feel.
Format
Break your vows down into sections and focus on one at a time. A simple format to follow looks like this:
Open: This is how you start your vows and can be a sweet anecdote or simply how excited you are to be standing there with your loved one.
You’re the best: Is all about why your partner is the best. You can talk about the qualities you love about them or the things that make them a great person.
We’re the best: This is all about you and your partner and what makes your relationship so strong. You can talk about why you’re choosing this life with them and brag about your relationship!
Vows: This is where you will make your actual vows or promises to your partner, e.g., “I promise to love you in good times and in bad.”
Close: To finish, you’ll put a nice bow on top of everything you’ve said. This could be a simple “I love you”, revisit the story you opened with, or look to your future plans together.
Embrace Sentimentality
If there is any a time for you to be cheesy, it’s in your wedding vows. This is your chance to absolutely gush about your partner and your relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to share your deepest secrets at the altar but aim for heartfelt.
Say “I love you”
This seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised by how many people forget to mention these three little words.
Don’t Worry Too Much About Grammar
Yes, you need to have complete sentences that flow well, but remember that you are the only one who will be reading your vows out loud. If you need to add extra full stops and commas to help you slow down and take a breath, then absolutely do. Your vows should sound like you; you’re not being graded!
Practice Reading Out Loud
Now that you’ve got it in writing, it’s time to read it out loud. You might feel silly practising in the mirror, but it’s important to hear how they flow and get an idea of timing. Ideally, you want your vows to be under five minutes long when read aloud. I don’t know about you, but I talk incredibly fast when I get nervous, so take this into account.
Write Them on Paper
Physically write or type your vows on paper. Standing at the altar reading off your phone is not a good look. Consider reading from vow books your celebrant can hold onto until it’s your turn to speak. Vow books also make great keepsakes you can cherish together for a lifetime.
Photographer: Life Like Film
