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Real Talk: 5 Harsh Truths of Wedding Planning
Author: Jamie Quinn
- By Jamie Quinn
Weddings are magical, filled with joy, and a celebration of love. But let’s be real, wedding planning can be a different story. Here, we share five harsh truths about wedding planning, and the reality behind the glamour.
Setting Boundaries and Managing Expectations During Wedding Planning
1. You will fight with family
Whether it’s with your own family or your partner’s, there is no escaping the conflicts that come with planning a wedding. Someone once told me, “Of course your family knows how to push your buttons, they created them!”. Everyone will have an opinion, from the guest list to the catering, to that one time your sister ruined your favourite top. You either need to set boundaries early on or plan in secret; even then, someone is bound to be loudly unhappy.
2. You will fight with your fiancé
Between milestones like booking the venue, finding the perfect photographer, and finding THE dress, you will be stressed. As much as you adore the incredible person you are about to marry, they will say the wrong thing at the wrong time, have the wrong opinion about a specific shade of lilac, and because you’re human, you will snap. The key is to keep talking and be honest with your frustrations. If they are not doing enough to help, or maybe doing too much, tell them. They can’t read your mind, nor can you theirs. Try to have some “no wedding talk” time a few times a week and remember to keep having fun together!
3. You will be forced to confront your finances
Talking about finances on a regular day can be daunting. Talking about wedding finances can be extremely confronting. Wedding planning will either lead you to develop very poor financial habits, or very good ones. It’s been reported that the average New Zealand wedding costs around $30k-$35k. While there are many variables that affect this average, there’s no doubt that weddings are costly. Having an honest talk with your partner and putting together a realistic budget should always be the first step. Realistic being the key word; starting the first year of married life in debt is not worth the fancy charger plates!
4. You will be filled with self-doubt.
The wedding industry is oversaturated with colour schemes, opinions, and trends that move far too quickly. You will find yourself changing your mind often; even if you’ve loved the
colour green your entire life, you will doubt your decision to have your bridesmaids wear sage. Putting a $1k deposit on something is terrifying because what if next week it’s not “in” anymore? What if the guests judge the tablecloths you picked out? I often talk about drowning out the noise from others, but sometimes the noise is internal. As brides, we need to learn to trust ourselves more.
5. You will cry, a lot
We all want to be that chill girly who goes with the flow and gets a full 8 hours of sleep leading up to the wedding. Unfortunately, something will go wrong, whether it’s an uncooperative vendor, guest list dramas or wedding dress complications, stressful moments are almost guaranteed. It’s hard work being the bride; as hard as they might try, partners just can’t do what we do. The responsibility and hard decisions fall on us. If aunt Linda doesn’t like something, we’re the bad guy. Having the occasional cry is valid and healthy. When you’re stressed beyond belief, try to take a step back from the planning and focus on self-care. Whether you get a massage, have a drink or three with the girls, or go for a walk in the sunshine, just clock out from wedding planning.
Remember, every challenge you face in planning your wedding is just a stepping stone to a beautiful day. So, embrace the journey because, trust us, it’s all worth it in the end.
Photo by Paul Wilson Weddings
Weddings are magical, filled with joy, and a celebration of love. But let’s be real, wedding planning can be a different story. Here, we share five harsh truths about wedding planning, and the reality behind the glamour.
Setting Boundaries and Managing Expectations During Wedding Planning
1. You will fight with family
Whether it’s with your own family or your partner’s, there is no escaping the conflicts that come with planning a wedding. Someone once told me, “Of course your family knows how to push your buttons, they created them!”. Everyone will have an opinion, from the guest list to the catering, to that one time your sister ruined your favourite top. You either need to set boundaries early on or plan in secret; even then, someone is bound to be loudly unhappy.
2. You will fight with your fiancé
Between milestones like booking the venue, finding the perfect photographer, and finding THE dress, you will be stressed. As much as you adore the incredible person you are about to marry, they will say the wrong thing at the wrong time, have the wrong opinion about a specific shade of lilac, and because you’re human, you will snap. The key is to keep talking and be honest with your frustrations. If they are not doing enough to help, or maybe doing too much, tell them. They can’t read your mind, nor can you theirs. Try to have some “no wedding talk” time a few times a week and remember to keep having fun together!
3. You will be forced to confront your finances
Talking about finances on a regular day can be daunting. Talking about wedding finances can be extremely confronting. Wedding planning will either lead you to develop very poor financial habits, or very good ones. It’s been reported that the average New Zealand wedding costs around $30k-$35k. While there are many variables that affect this average, there’s no doubt that weddings are costly. Having an honest talk with your partner and putting together a realistic budget should always be the first step. Realistic being the key word; starting the first year of married life in debt is not worth the fancy charger plates!
4. You will be filled with self-doubt.
The wedding industry is oversaturated with colour schemes, opinions, and trends that move far too quickly. You will find yourself changing your mind often; even if you’ve loved the
colour green your entire life, you will doubt your decision to have your bridesmaids wear sage. Putting a $1k deposit on something is terrifying because what if next week it’s not “in” anymore? What if the guests judge the tablecloths you picked out? I often talk about drowning out the noise from others, but sometimes the noise is internal. As brides, we need to learn to trust ourselves more.
5. You will cry, a lot
We all want to be that chill girly who goes with the flow and gets a full 8 hours of sleep leading up to the wedding. Unfortunately, something will go wrong, whether it’s an uncooperative vendor, guest list dramas or wedding dress complications, stressful moments are almost guaranteed. It’s hard work being the bride; as hard as they might try, partners just can’t do what we do. The responsibility and hard decisions fall on us. If aunt Linda doesn’t like something, we’re the bad guy. Having the occasional cry is valid and healthy. When you’re stressed beyond belief, try to take a step back from the planning and focus on self-care. Whether you get a massage, have a drink or three with the girls, or go for a walk in the sunshine, just clock out from wedding planning.
Remember, every challenge you face in planning your wedding is just a stepping stone to a beautiful day. So, embrace the journey because, trust us, it’s all worth it in the end.
Photo by Paul Wilson Weddings